halloween

you know
i wonder wat people all around the world do on halloween
besides the people who know how halloween works
i just found out that the irish people celebrates halloween too
in fact halloween originated from celtic people

imagine going up to a house in ireland and knocking
"TRICK OR TREAT!"
and an old man shows up and throws in a potatoe

CLUNK
and you look down and it's a potatoe

i wonder if the kids there draw faces on them in school
or something



Asians
are some of the most narrow minded people sometimes
especially on halloween
and it's usually the old chinese people

on halloween they're all like

"americans...."

and i'm like

"who's side were you on during the cultural revolution?"

well.....i'm thinking that
and then i'm like

"and you wonder why china is more powerful than the US"

maybe in china they throw in a frozen dumping if you're lucky

well
anyways

i also wonder about the vaticans
i mean they should have a episode on discovery channel to show wat the vaticans do on halloween

it's like they walk in and they see orange streamers with jack o lanterns hanging from them

hahaha no...

the windows are probably all boarded up and stuff

and the pope is all frantic

"WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T GO OUTSIDE! IT'S THE ANNUAL CHILDREN'S CRUSADE"

and all the maids and servant people are gone
cuz the day before, they were explaining to the pope:

"look, you don't have kids..."

but meanwhile the interview with the monks and nuns........

"it's the only day we are scared of gargoyles"


i mean come on
these people spend they're lives in the creepy cathedrals and having picnics in the cemetery (maybe becuz they can't go anywhere else)

and all the while it's dark and very mid-evil

and the stone gargoyles and stone satans( i dunno)
i mean
it's sorta halloween for them everyday

but i love halloween
it's a day to get a scary costume and have free candy
well it's not that scary since
it's mostly kids
and becuz there are more girls than boys,
you see princesses and fairies more
so that's not scary

and besides girls are princess and boys are power rangers
or spider man

so it's not that scary

anyways
happy halloween people
and don't gain 10 pounds or something after 5 hours becuz of the candy





PS

i was also wondering
why is the holiday on the last day of the month?
it's making everyone anxious and impatient
that's when those depression medicine commercials kicks in
if they haven't kicked in before

"are you sad?"
"do you get anxious?"
"do you have get lonely?"

"YES I'M ALIVE!"

-ellen degeneres
funny lady

it's like the person who picked to date wants to raise the depression rates
does he really want to make the world a sadder place?
anyways

i love halloween
(again)
and i also love christmas
you know when i told my dad this
" i can't wait for halloween and i can't wait for christmas and i can't wait for new years and i can't wait for thanksgiving....."

he said that i was going to have a very short life then

"....."
:(

that's just sad
and he calls himself my father....
sniff sniff

jkjkjkjk

but still
i was so happy....

J14 HALLOWEEN!!!

halloween is a holiday were you can get away with anything
it's a day where asians all over the world will go "americans...."
while a shoplifter can run right past the cashier person and shout "TRICK!"
and your grandparents can dress up as Adam and Eve and say "just getting into the spirit"


















another version:

...and you accidentally find your parents in a very awkward way and they'll just say
"we're Adam and Eve"

J13

on one sunny california morning, arnold swatagateor was making a speech...

reporter: governor sworeanager, what are you going to do about the illegal immigration?

and arnold was like

"i will build a wall"

and even the chinese man in the crowd was like "that will not work"

but then it was decided that the wall will be built along the border of california and mexico

and every californian shouted "EUREKA!"

all except the city eureka because if they did shout that
everyone would turn to them and say: that's not funny

J12

i was watching an old jay leno episode probably from the tonight show.
and the guest was talking about his trip to africa

"...and i saw the wildebeest - "
"wait what are wildebeest exactly?"

and that struck me as odd...and just plain stupid
i mean how can he not know wat a wildebeest is?

that sorta made me think of bill nye sitting one the couch at home
saying "DID YOU WATCH ANY OF MY VIDEOS?"






VERSION 2:

....that sorta made me think of the harvard professors sitting at home saying
"did you EVER watch bill nye?!"

J11

Robin williams is one of the few people who can get drunk enough to wear a tutu and not care, without even drinking

J10

politics are for ugly people. i think McCain noticed too, that's why he added Sarah Palin.

worries

well not much has happened
my grades are slipping
and i'm trying to keep it up as much as possible
i guess every down slope will lead to an up hill

or
"climb down"
-30 Rock NBC
love that show

and then there is the new moon movie
and the vampire's assisstant....or was it apprentice?
and then the TV series "vampire diaries"
and then the "melrose park" TV show
well that has nothing to do with vampires but it reminds me of it
god this should've been in the vampire's post thing

er
will i watched "the day after tomorrow"
REALLY AWESOME MOVIE
and i'm saying that on behalf of Al Gore
seriously
that must be al gore's favorite movie
if you watched the movie
you know what i'm talking about


well i don't know if you are anticipated to see more jokes but sorry if you are because i obviously know that i haven't posted up any yet

in fact i have many jokes
that i'm not sure that are good
i mean i think it's funny
but since i dunno if my readers (all 3 or you) will think of it
o well
i just put them up anyway
i mean how else will i know

.....ok at that point i was talking to myself

J9

ellen degeneres may have won 4 emmys but you'll know when she hits the high point of career when you start seeing "Ellen's Wearhouse" around in malls













another version:

ellen degeneres may have won 4 emmys but you'll know when she hits the high point of her career when you start seeing her in Mens Wearhouse commercials

J8

directions on shampoo bottles. ARE THEY MOCKING US?
are they saying that shampoos are for old people?
well they are making us dumb
on day i found myself reading the directions

1. pour a coin sized on your hand
2. lathe -

WAIT. A PENNY SIZE OR A DIME SIZE?
DARN YOU PEOPLE

J7

In Great Britain, the police don't need guns. the worst thing they could get is a drunken scotsman

J6

there are some plastic surgery results that even makes god say, " i didn't make those...."