Makin' Friends...not exactly a happy thought

Making friends isn't so easy.
I mean except for those who are fortunate enough to have the talent to be able to converse easily with people
well maybe even for those people
see, along with the dating tips, diet tricks, and "how to stay happy" tips you get from websites and magazines, there are also stuff like how to talk to people
i bet you all have heard stuff like "just be yourself" or "go with the flow"
well
no one can't really "be yourself" under a lot of pressure and while they're nervous
and becuz of that, you can't exactly "go with the flow"

first of all
we are in the real world full of contradictions: mean people who look nice and nice people who are mean
it's not the kid's Saturday cartoons shows world or Sesame Street where you can just say "can i play with you?" in your puppy dog face and then Big Bird says "WHY OF COURSE!!" and then two will be playing in the sandbox making sand castles

in the real world you'll probably just get a slap in the face or something, but an awkward yes usually

i'm not sure about later on
but when you are a kid, littler kids are much more easier to be accepted into their clan.
and older kids are harder be accepted
it's awkward
there will be inside jokes
and when everybody laughs at a not funny joke
you HAVE to laugh
and i know it's hard
i've done it for a loooong time
and most of the time you'll be left out

now i understand that it's awkward and all sorts of adjectives

when you first talk, you try to keep a conversation
you wanna be nice but not come across as a sissy, yet you don't want appear to be an a**hole
and you treat the other person as a baby...being nice
try to talk about school, work, homework, sports, or whatever pathetic thing you can come up with
and it only feels good when you pretend to be viewing the surroundings, but your actually finding time to roll your eyes
and no matter what, the conversation dwindles into silence

i have no tips
i have no advice

Makin' friends are one of the good things that is hard to get to

like wading across a huge river to try to get to the other side

yet in the end when you do make a friend because thank god you didn't meet some arrogant, bragging, whining, highly oppinionated ( the list goes on forever....or once i find some synonyms) ,

it does feel good
it really does

and that's why people keep on doing it
and that's why you should do it more often