Christmas and the New Year

i got to say....christmas eve was pretty good
yea i spent it at one of those asian dinner parties...although i guess considering the situation it's just an ordinary christmas party
my friend and i went up in her room and watched Harry Potter 7 part 2, then Rio, then kind of dwindled down to taking turns showing each other funny videos on Youtube

i showed her this really funny scene from Chuck

she showed me Nyan cat

I showed her a funny prank that somebody in Japan did to a mob of people

....she showed me the Santa version of Nyan cat.....

after that i just kinda took over and forced her to enjoy the wonderful world of Chuck by making her watch a series of funny scenes. Or at least that was the general plan until i realized that she actually enjoyed Chuck and while she was rolling around the floor laughing with tears streaming down her now thoroughly red face and totally carefree, i looked at this situation as a business opportunity. After years of trying to get people to watch the (INCREDIBLE) series, i took a deep breath, playing it cool with my newfound salesman skills, and sealed the deal....

i cornered her and made her promise to watch all of the Chuck episodes


DEAL SEALED ^^
yea not that suave now that i look back at it....oh well, overall a good day

as for the actually Christmas day, i did absolutely nothing
yea it was pretty much me eating a sandwich on the couch and watching TV....and i didn't even realize that it was Christmas until i recalled that last night was Christmas eve.....and that revelation didn't happen until 4 pm or something....It was all really hazy; i just remembered my friend laughing and rolling on the floor a lot

that was a strange day.....OH I REMEMBERED HOW I REMEMBERED IT WAS CHRISTMAS

so my dad took me to watch War Horse (eh it was ok) and i was thinking "wow whats the occasion eh?" i just took it as a pleasant surprise and decided to just go along with it

finally after halfway through the movie i was like "hm....a lot of people here today thank god we came a little early....a lot of people, must be opening day or something....wait it is opening day...that means...today....OH SHIT TODAY IS CHRISTMAS"

thank god it was all dark in the theater so nobody can see my facial expression
well not my....most proudest moment but hey i was pretty hammered from the night before; i drank a lot of asian chrysanthemum that came in juice boxes which resulted in A LOT of bathroom trips (hey what's a person with a retainer suppose to do?)

anyways.....today is New Year's Eve, what am i gonna do?


i'm gonna sit on the couch, eat a sandwich, and watch TV
it is one of the greatest feelings in the world; when all the miscellaneous things like Math, Chemistry, worries, and exercising all just peel away.....leaving nothing but you, a TV, and a sandwich...


Hope you all have a great new year.  

Caving in or Semi Adulthood?

well, i've made a decision...although it really is people making decisions for me...

i've decided to go back into the volunteering game
a combination of pressure from my parents and my friends have push me into it and i'll say that i've put in a mildly good fight...but in the end i lost

look...i did volunteering quite a bit last year and i stopped because i felt extreme guilt; volunteering was for being completely compassionate about...everything and i was just there for the hours and that it will look good on my college application. plus i didn't like the people who i had to work with...yep the classic case of immature high school students. finally i couldn't take it anymore and i quit.

once the 2nd semester starts, i'm gonna be planting trees and other stuff...
hey there's a silver lining to this too!
...well actually i have to find out if there actually is a silver lining to this
*sigh....it's a terrible feeling when the world just caves in on you like this

maybe i'm over-thinking this and volunteering will turn out to be fun and i'll make new friends...like the flyer says

maybe i'll be back with another post in a few weeks with how wonderful the volunteering experience
yea...i'll be sure to be drinking it all in quickly, like what you do with medicine

you know....i thought that i was suppose to do stuff that i like:

writing...art...and reading stuff

i should write stuff...i really should start on writing a novel
it's been at the back of my head for a while and still haven't gotten around to writing it
because, as always, life intervened

always been interested in java and computer science and stuff like that....never got around doing that either, never had the time
always started and always stopped halfway

anyways, there is only one way for me to bear volunteering, and this is something i promise myself once i get started:

not to think of college or high school when i'm actually volunteering

my brain feels like mush
too much thinking
maybe i'm misinterpreting all the "i feel guilty because it's all about college app bla bla bla" to be just plain sit-on-my-ass lazy

well whatever it is, all i can hear is "welcome to (semi) adulthood...we've been waiting for you"

Am I Missing the Uphill Climb?

well....it's that time of the year again: me writing after a long time
actually considering before, this isn't that much of a hiatus

now that finals are over, i've finally got time to do nothing

first day of break, i found myself super tired maybe because after a long time of not doing any work, i find it hard trying to go back to being lazy
strange, because i remember the whole time when i was studying like hell for tests, i was wishing just  5 mins of absolutely no stress whatsoever

well....after i encountered by "tired of doing nothing" phase once break began, i realized that there is still stress
except this stress although it doesn't make me wake up like a zombie everyday, it does still stress me out except on a different level...this is what happens to you when you sit down and think too much

the problem is.....my future
the question is....what the hell am i going to do for the rest of my life?

you know, i'm a hypocrite, i'll admit it
i've written articles about "be yourself" and "don't worry about the future"
well...look at me now
i literally have to force myself to "be myself"
i've written about articles where people are doing volunteer stuff and they already have tons of hours but they are only volunteering for the hours and that they don't really care about tree planting or what not

and that was me, i didn't care about tree planting or making hot dogs at Stanford concessions during a football game, and that's why i quit doing volunteering because that's something i'm not passionate about
and i'm still that way
and that's still my answer when somebody asks me why i'm not doing volunteering

but lately my friends and my family are pressuring me to do it because if i don't then colleges won't like that and i'm not going to go to a good college

everything seems to rest on that now: going to a good college
i'm not saying it's bad but.....should i do volunteering again?
it's taken a lot of self therapy to ask myself that question let alone blog about it because i've been beating around the bush with that one....

right now i have a job as my art teacher's assistant (which i can only go on Sundays for one hour...yea i know that small) which i like...even though it's turning out to be like working at a day care center (i had to make this kid blow into a kleenex...that i was holding)
i like writing but i haven't had the time
i'm in speech and debate and i'm working on a piece right now.....but it just doesn't seem enough compared to what everybody else is doing (SAT classes, volunteering, etc.)
all i can constantly think is that time is running out
i used to be a middle school and think i still got time...and now i've got to wake up
well....i'm in my sophomore year and i feel like that i've got to do something extraordinary RIGHT NOW

and if i don't, i missed the uphill climb that seems to only come about right now

yea i know i'm being manipulated by the system, follow the formula like everyone else and then you'll get into a good college...should i follow the formula? yea any "feel-good movie of the year" would say that the answer is NO....but this is reality...and i feel that it's about to crush me

but you know when you know your doing something that you're telling yourself is not right but you do it anyway?
yea that's me now...in no man's land
everybody seems to be doing something

and i feel like i've been doing squat