Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Caving in or Semi Adulthood?

well, i've made a decision...although it really is people making decisions for me...

i've decided to go back into the volunteering game
a combination of pressure from my parents and my friends have push me into it and i'll say that i've put in a mildly good fight...but in the end i lost

look...i did volunteering quite a bit last year and i stopped because i felt extreme guilt; volunteering was for being completely compassionate about...everything and i was just there for the hours and that it will look good on my college application. plus i didn't like the people who i had to work with...yep the classic case of immature high school students. finally i couldn't take it anymore and i quit.

once the 2nd semester starts, i'm gonna be planting trees and other stuff...
hey there's a silver lining to this too!
...well actually i have to find out if there actually is a silver lining to this
*sigh....it's a terrible feeling when the world just caves in on you like this

maybe i'm over-thinking this and volunteering will turn out to be fun and i'll make new friends...like the flyer says

maybe i'll be back with another post in a few weeks with how wonderful the volunteering experience
yea...i'll be sure to be drinking it all in quickly, like what you do with medicine

you know....i thought that i was suppose to do stuff that i like:

writing...art...and reading stuff

i should write stuff...i really should start on writing a novel
it's been at the back of my head for a while and still haven't gotten around to writing it
because, as always, life intervened

always been interested in java and computer science and stuff like that....never got around doing that either, never had the time
always started and always stopped halfway

anyways, there is only one way for me to bear volunteering, and this is something i promise myself once i get started:

not to think of college or high school when i'm actually volunteering

my brain feels like mush
too much thinking
maybe i'm misinterpreting all the "i feel guilty because it's all about college app bla bla bla" to be just plain sit-on-my-ass lazy

well whatever it is, all i can hear is "welcome to (semi) adulthood...we've been waiting for you"


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