redo:
the winter olympics were suprising, kinda boring, and had some pure awesomeness
the kinda boring part was when the prime minister started his speech
i tried to get really in to it
but you can't just fake something, especially an emotion
like how i kept on fake laughing at someone's joke even though it wasnt funny and because everybody else was laughing for some reason
i did that for 1/3 of a year
it kinda killed me in the end cuz i just lost all energy
anyways
i just couldn't get in to it
cuz it seemed like that he was just bored and wanted to go back to his seat
the other stuff that was awesome
were the projections of pictures on the floors, stadium, LCD screens
they did a part where they showed the floor as a ice shelf using projection
and people were on it and suddenly
the ice broke
and it looked SOO real
and it was projection
they did the same with a picture of the prairie planes and whales swimming
it was awesome
however
the prime minister speech came and i fell asleep
literally
and there always seems to be this one guy
(a canadian punk, using this reference just because it's canada)
who always whoops and yells whenever somebody was doing bad....like awkwardly bad
(kinda like if you got a surprise performance from Fergie and you find out that she sings really badly live. "YEEEAAAA......ok......yea.....um...that was....good")
just to keep the spirits up
and he would yell
and he would yell
and whoop
and the whole stadium could hear him
that was a side comment
cuz whoever he was
he kept on doing it
and it was annoying
that was also the same with the tap dancing
with fiddle/irish music
but if feel like that if i freely talk about it, i might offend the whole canadian continent (they're too big to be a country)
don't get me wrong
i LOVE IRISH AND TAP DANCING MUSIC STUFF
but i was just wondering how the whole stadium could hear the tap dancing
and how i don't remember how tap dancing with your arms flapping ridiculously - ok gone too far
see this is what happens if i ramble on
one second i'm praising it and the next nanosecond i'm a New York critic
well my other favorite part was when the athletes walked in
and as a nerd
i tried to remember all the countries names, location, and facts that the NBC people were saying
i think i still remember
i tried to do an indian accent when the India came
it was lame because indian accents aren't that funny anymore unless you can do it super well and your not indian
and then
i did a WAY better irish accent when the irish came
but that was a linguistic challenge
half the time i didn't know what i was saying
cuz it sounded like i was in a spanish class and i was practicing pronouncing the "r"s
and some how trying to combine that with an Australian accent (cuz you find that both irish/scottish and australian accents tend to go up a bit at some point when they talk)
and i jumped up and down (which i wouldn't do unless it was US olympic athletes or Steve Martin) and chanted "USA!" when the USA-ians came
i jumped up and down and chanted "USA!" when the Canadians came
but then i changed to "CAN-U-DUH"
cuz you can't go against someone who's done nothing to you
canada is like an innocent child (like there ever was an innocent child but anyways)
no matter how much you wanna go against them, you always end up giving up
they have beautiful landscape
they never have their own wars
(well cuz they don't have a lot of stuff to fight for......and don't say rightness or liberty cuz you know what i mean)
they are nice
they are welcoming
they are funny
well mainly cuz they have an accent
but they are very awesome people
and you just can't fight against awesome
plus they have a leaf on their flag
and that is just so....nice
and everybody loves maple syrup on their pancakes
as for us USA-ians, when we say "RED WHITE AND BLUE"
a lot of people in Europe are like "THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING!"
and then everybody is hiding under a table
and the news are like "THE SOVIET UNION REUNITED"
jkjk
but very possible :)
candians are one of a kind
you cant find another country like Canada anywhere else
they are just so innocent and perfect
you might think OH FRANCE OF COURSE
but no
when you meet a french guy
he's polite and says "ello"
and takes his hand out to shake hands
and you take one step closer
and WHAM
a wave 100 year old stinky sock smell hits you tsunami after tsunami
this is what i found out on a stereotype website
french men are smelly
i don't know if they are
i have no offense against french people
they have some of the coolest people on earth
like uh...well i'll think of someone
oh yea
Joan of Arc
the mulan of france
so then my dad sent me to go brush my teeth
and when i came back
he said that i missed the most wonderful part and then he told me
and so apparently i got back just in time to see the ENDING
and then i got super angry and i immediately went onto my email and swore a lot in my status message
well you have to make use of these status messages
cuz it can't always say "SNL isn't as good as it used to be"
worse
my dad told me that something went wrong with the ending of the "wonderful part"
some pillars or something didn't go up and the performers were just standing there waiting...for a long time
AND I'VE ALWAYS WANNA SEE SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAPPEN
THAT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO AN AFRICAN SAFARI BOOK WITH TONS OF PICTURES OF LIONS AND CAPTIONS UNDERNEATH SAYING HOW EXOTIC AND POWERFUL THESE ANIMALS ARE. THAT DOESN'T CONVINCE ANYONE CUZ THE PICTURES ARE JUST PICTURES. THEY AREN'T REAL LIONS!!!!
because you always find that the real thing is way better
and hearing about something awesome from another person who's seen it and not seen it yourself doesn't make you feel good. in fact it makes you feel angry. terribly angry
i hope you all know what i mean
cuz if you don't
i'll feel even more angrier
not that i would know
but still...
so the lesson of this, class,
is to not lose your temper over once in a lifetime chance thing
or else you'll eventually end up in Shutter Island
along with leonardo di caprio
well
i guess that that's not too bad for...most...of you female human beings
anyways
on to the lessons, class
you should also learn from canadians
and never listen to your parents when they say "brush your teeth"
cuz you don't know what you're giving up
and it doesn't matter if you get yellow teeth from it
cuz it will be quite some time before you feel the regret
and it will not matter even then
cuz by then
they'll have twin packs of REALLY ADVANCED CREST WHITENING STRIPS...ONE'S THAT'LL ACTUALLY WORK, from Costco
and you can just get them
or you can bleach them for your birthday
so that was my experience on winter olympics
feel free to comment on how your experience was
although many of you wont
i'm still saying it to make me feel a little bit better
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