COLUMN COMIC: YOU SUCK

COLUMN COMIC: THE INNER JERK

2nd Comic

posted it a bit late
i'm not gonna post the 3rd one because the people who designed that page did is soooo poorly that I want to stab them in the neck. People can't even take simple orders.
Anyway, this one is alright so yea.. 

First Comic: Playing with the Monkeys

My first Column Comic
Yes, that's me.
http://www.elestoque.org/2013/09/27/opinion/playing-with-the-monkeys/
Already working on the next one for the next print issue.. 

A short update

Senior year is slowing me down a bit and a free first period is making me even more lazy
what's super ridiculous is that i think i'm getting less sleep than last year because i have a bit more time
cuz before i was like "OMGOMGOMGTONSOFHOMEWORKGOTTAFINISHNOWNOWNOW"
and now i'm like "free first...more time..eh homework can wait a bit.."

last year i was fighting to sleep at 10 pm at the earliest. now....i'm sleeping at 3 am just because i'm too lazy
then it gets into a cycle of destruction with only a few turns before the gears of the wheels break down and crashes
like i sleep at 4 am, wake up at 8 am, school blah blah blah, 3 pm school's out, 4 pm no energy take a 5 minute nap, wake up 2 hours later, holy shit i've got hw, an hour later start hw...sleep at 4 am..

nooooo please i don't want senioritis!!! not nowww!!!!! i've got college apps and important shit to do don't suck me in the me into the vortex... 

The Weak One

"You're the weak one...and you'll never know love or friendship. And I feel sorry for you. "
- Harry Potter on Voldemort (5th movie)
Tom Riddle Jr. (Voldemort) as a child in an orphanage with his stolen trinkets

Homecoming

a soldier and his dog

The Workforce

brushing up on my graphics
make an example for journalism class to teach newer people
still took ages.. 

Color is Love

playing around on photoshop
not very perfect but....eh 

First Concept Art EVERRR

what the title says lol
posted this up to compare with the second one
this one...well i didn't really know what i was doing haha
pros take 15 mins to get to this stage
i took 2 hrs...so sad..

Paradise

Second Concept Art EVER
this....i hate it almost as much as i love it
at 11:00 pm i was loving it
by 3:40 am i was hating it
it would've been done an hour earlier something went wrong with the file
and an entire layer got deleted!!! @#$#@@!$#@#@DSQWREWQ@#DRFDASFSFEFSEFFDGHTRFDFDBYSDASDAAEWD
so i had to redraw.. a lot...again..

anyway, CLICK on it to see the better, bigger image

Cubee Karl Pilkington

yea this was how i spent most of my afternoon
but anyway, it's Karl Pilkington, the hero of The Ricky Gervais Show podcasts
he walks the line between moron and genius
mostly genius
and "he's got a head like a fucking orange" as Ricky would say
no but seriously, he's got an IQ of 85 but don't let that fool you
he really does see the world differently than the average guy does
and i'm not just saying that to be nice (mostly because i have a hard time being nice when it's unwarranted)
As said by his friend and fellow contributor of the podcasts, comedian Stephen Merchant, he speaks in one-liners that comedians would die for and yet he doesn't say them to be funny, that's just how he thinks and talks.
oh btw, karl, ricky, and stephen are all british
plus ricky and stephen both created the show "The Office"
so yea they're legit lol

anyway, i'm still proud of my work here LOL
shame i don't have color printer though
not that it would have made much of a difference - his pants are suppose to be blue and his flesh peachy
ah well it's ok, he's got a nice british pale pasty color in the pic
it's also smaller than a soda can btw

here is the whole gang in cartoon
HBO "The Ricky Gervais Show"
that's Steve, Ricky and Karl in order from left to right

Here's them in real life
Steven, Karl, Ricky 

British actor Iain Glen as Ser Jorah

Ser Jorah Mormont from the show Game of Thrones
A sketch that I did (and sent to the actor, hopefully he responds lol...feel like such a fan girl, i used to look down on those easily overexcited people..now i'm one of them) 

I SHAVED MY HEAD

When I showed up to school, I had a lot of explaining to do - to both my classmates and my teachers. 

I told them that I would be donating my hair to Locks of Love, which is an organization that makes wigs for kids who have a hair loss disorder  of some sort or they have a disease that prevents them from having hair like cancer. And not much else. Not much else in an articulate manner anyway. 

Therefore, here is my chance to set the record a little bit straighter. 

So why did I do it? 

Well, for two reasons. 

The first reason is because I wanted to prove to myself that I was not all talk and no action. That was one of the reasons among a dozen others. It just really annoyed me how people care too much about how they look in the eyes of others. It's fine if you want to look good, there is nothing wrong with that. However, on a deeper subconscious level, people do care a LOT about what they look like - and it is often a waste of time and energy. 

I'm not a vain person. I don't bother to dress nicely as long as I don't look completely ridiculous. In fact I usually just wear jeans and a t-shirt to school. But I'm not completely one-sided either, which is to say that I'm just like everyone else. Even I, from time to time, think about how my hair looks and how my nose looks and how my ears protrude out. My eyes, eyebrows, teeth, everything. I too worried over that kind of stuff. 

For girls especially, one of the key things that girls value is their hair. A lot of us likes to curl it, make it shiny, and hope that it looks as good as someone else's. Again, there is nothing wrong with wanting to look good, but I know that people do care more about their appearance than they let on. And that is very true about hair. Long, straight, shiny, curly, wavy. All that and more. 

And it can get ridiculous. 

Yet again, even I, who usually just tie my hair into a sloppy bun and have it sag against the back of my neck, care more about my appearance than I let on. 

Which makes me a hypocrite.

I suddenly wanted a change - and not only because I wanted to get a different look from the one that I had since the 6th grade. I wanted to prove to myself that I truly am what I believed in. How can I disdain others for dolling up when I too cared about my appearance, even if on a lesser degree? Was it jealousy that I was actually feeling? 

No, I told myself. I was getting confused with my thoughts. If you think about something too much, you'll get confused and I was thinking too much. So how did I want to really prove to myself that I really didn't care about my appearance? That the only appearance that I cared about is Shuyi, the person? 

I would have to cut my hair short then to get rid of one of my biggest distractions. At first, I wanted to get a chin length haircut and then a pixie cut. I wanted it shorter and shorter and eventually realized that I might as well just chop it all off. Start anew. 

My father was on board with it but my mother, the traditionalist, wasn't. She wanted me to "behave like a girl" and not be "silly." She also wouldn't let me learn kung fu last summer, saying that it was a boys sport. 

And while I tried to ignore these, I was nonetheless, swayed. What would be under that hair? A gnome shaped head? What would my classmates say? I knew I was strong but even I didn't know my limits. 

But then, that was the point anyway wasn't it? To not give a shit about it all? I was going in circles. Thinking too much and running backwards on a treadmill. I would do it, with or without my mother or any other voices out there and in here. 

So as my father sheared off my hair, I thought that I might cry like I've heard some girls do when they get their hair shaved off. But I didn't feel the least bit sad. In fact it was probably one of the most liberating feelings ever. I was no longer weighed down or distracted by my hair. I had nothing to hide behind and nothing to hide from.

The second reason is of course, for charity - which is a wonderful byproduct, an added bonus, branching off from the original cause. 

But it also got a little confusing because the original purpose and the new purpose conflicted. Here I am, proving to myself that I didn't care about what others thought about me, and the children will wear the wig with my hair to make themselves prettier and such. 

I did discover a distinct difference though. Many of these children who will receive wigs are not only much younger than I, but they are, of course, afflicted with life threatening diseases. I honestly cannot imagine what they feel when they walk out into the world with a veiny bald head, a clear harbinger of their frail condition that sets them apart from the others in society. 

While normally we make ourselves look better because we all on some degree want to be "best in show" and express our individuality, anonymity is a luxury that these children do not feel like they have. To look normal, is something they want to have back almost as much as living normally. To give them a way that hides their condition, to give them that piece of mind, is something that means a lot more to the receiver than the giver. 

Anyways, adults are a lot stronger than kids when it comes to "being yourself." Although less so now, I can still be swayed sometimes by the opinions of others. So if I can't even control the fluctuation of my self esteem level, how can these children have the slimmest bit of that ability?

As a final note, I just want to say that other than these two reasons, I did not do this to send a message to everyone else. That was not the original intention. I shaved my head for me. Nevertheless, many told me how inspiring it is of me to do this and for that I am grateful. But it is not enough to be inspired. Anybody can just sit there and be inspired. But to do something, to really get up and do something, to prove to yourself that the belief is no longer just a concept, but a real thing that exist and moves as you move, is something on a completely different level. 

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Thanks for reading and I hope you can take something away from this post. Sorry if there are any spelling or grammar errors and what not. I'm the farthest thing away from a grammar Nazi.
But I did try to make it better than my other posts, which shamelessly don't give a shit about grammar. 

Christian Bale - Final Oil Painting

Christian Bale Oil Painting
done a while a ago but i forgot that i didn't upload it yet
well here it is
20in  by 16in
kinda bad photo of an otherwise awesome painting
i'm actually really proud of this 

Some Art Projects

Christian Bale, who plays Batman in the Dark Knight series
oil painting. Still in progress

A quick sketch I did after watching "zero dark thirty"
computer sketch, not traditional art
completed :)

Abraham Lincoln on oil painting
think i made his lip a little too red
completed :)